Never the Same
by Corlimon
Summary: ON HIATUS! Since that fateful encounter in Soul Society, Ichigo isn't sure what to make of himself. But with his little sister and someone new, he might just make it through.
1. Chapter 1

Hi everyone! This is my first ever fiction story type thing! I hope you all enjoy the Ichigo angst!

He had never been himself after that night. Of course he used the term night loosley. It was more like a day, or maybe just half of one. Ichigo couldn't quite remember anymore, in fact he didn't remember much of anything anymore. He remembered the basic things, and things he learnt from school, but the events that transpired in Soul Society were forcefully ripped from his mind of his own accord. The night...no! He wouldn't ever think about it ever again! He huddled up even further to himself. Right now he was sitting on his bed, in the corner against the wall crying. Even though he refused to think about it, he still cried about it every night. Every god damned night. He wanted to be free from the memory; the abuse that it brought to him. On that night 1 month ago, everything changed for Ichigo Kurosaki.

_"No...NO! Stop, please!"_

It's the dream again. Even though the memories were forcefully locked away in his mind, he still had this dream every single night.

_"Hehehehe, my little Ichi, how pretty you are. Is this you're first time? You're so pretty I wouldn't of guessed."_

He doesn't want to have the dream; he's scared.

_"This'll only hurt a bit my little Ichi, but then it'll rock you're world. I promise."_

_"P-Please stop, it hurts, it really hurts..."_

No, stop thinking, must stop thinking!

_"Ichi you're so tight, I fucking love it!"_

_"I-I can't take it, please just stop!"_

No, no, no, no, no, no, NO!

_"Ah, you were such a good fuck. Too bad it'll never happen again, eh Ichi?"_

_"W-W-W-Why...just, why?"_

He doesn't want to hear the next part, he hates it the most.

_"It's because you're weak, worthless, idiotic...I could go on. You will never come close to us Soul Reapers. Never. You saved Rukia on a fluke, nothing more. I did this to put you in you're place. You disgust me Ichigo Kurosaki."_

He just sobs now.

On that day one month ago, Renji Abarai raped Ichigo Kurosaki, and he was never ever the same.

Done! Once again, I hope you enjoyed this! Please review!


	2. Fateful Startings

Hey all! I've decide that I'm going to continue this story. I don't know how long I'll decide to make it, but hopefully it'll be really good!

Disclaimer: I don't own BLEACH, Tite Kubo does!

**BLEACHBLEACHBLEACH**

"Ichigo, its dinner time. Please come eat, it's lonely without you."

There was no answer to Yuzu Kurosaki's pleas.

"Please, Big Brother Ichi! I want you to eat!"

Yuzu was nearly crying at this point. Her big brother wasn't eating well recently. He barely left his room as well. The onlt reason he left his sanctum was to use the washroom and to, sometimes, go to school.

"Okay, Big Brother Ichi. I'll just leave it in the fridge for you." Yuzu was sullen. Though as she walked away, she heard the faintest of sounds.

"Yuzu, please stay here."

Yuzu heard the door unlock and turned around. She entered the room, and was quite shocked. There, huddled on the corner of the bed, was her brother.

"Ichigo, is that you?" Yuzu asked carefully. It was quiet, but Yuzu heard a faint "Yeah". Yuzu was grief stricken by the sight of her big brother.

"Ichigo, what happened to you?" She was a little afraid of the answer she would receive.

"It hurt so much you know. It just really hurt." Yuzu looked at her brother quizzically. "What hurt, Ichi?" It went dead silent.

"I was…" he paused, thinking of the right word to use. "I was beaten Yuzu. Beaten and abused. By someone I thought I could trust."

**BLEACHBLEACHBLEACH**

"Ne, Renji, why are we going so far into the Seireitei Woods, huh?"

Renji just snorted at Ichigo's comment. "To train, duh. Are all humans as stupid as you?"

Ichigo just glared at his companion. "Jeez, sorry," was all he could say. They were going deeper than Ichigo had ever went. "Renji, I think we're going a bit too far. It's getting hard to tell where we are."

If Ichigo was looking at Renji, he would have seen the masochistic grin that adorned his face. "Nah, we're fine. It's just a bit further."

Ichigo just sighed and followed his friend.

**BLEACHBLEACHBLEACH**

"That's where it happened. It was dark, nobody was around. I was defenceless." Yuzu just stayed quiet. She had moved onto the bed with her brother.

"Please, go on Big Brother Ichi." Ichigo tensed a bit. This was the part he hated remembering the most. But, Yuzu was his sister, and she loved him. Nothing would change that he decided.

"Alright Yuzu. I'll continue." Yuzu just nodded, and moved a bit closer to her brother.

**BLEACHBLEACHBLEACH**

"Hey Renji, I just thought of something. How are you going to train without your Zanpaku-to?"

Renji stopped suddenly. "Well, because we aren't really out here to train, Ichigo. We're here to do something much different."

Different? Ichigo didn't get it. What else could you do in the forest? "Um, if I may ask, what are we doing here then?"

Renji grinned. "Something _I_ am going to enjoy a lot." He pounced and grabbed Zangetsu off of Ichigo's back and threw it somewhere into the surrounding area.

"Hey, that's my Zangetsu!" Ichigo carried as Renji pounced again. This time he tried to remove Ichigo's robes. "Get off you bastard!" Renji growled.

"Fine then! Binding Spell One! SAI!" Instantly, Ichigo could not move. "Damn you, Renji," was all that came from Ichigo's lips as Renji undressed him.

"I promise, little strawberry, that this will be ever so much fun." After that statement, Ichigo's world lost all definition.

(AN: I would add a sex scene here if I was any good at them! SORRY! Just to clarify, Renji makes Ichigo do the nasty with him.)\

**BLEACHBLEACHBLEACH**

"Oh Ichi!" Yuzu was no crying along with her brother. A lot had happened to her brother, and she could do close to nothing for him.

"It hurt so much. So, so, much." Ichigo felt disgusted now. He spilt his darkest secret to someone. He swore he would never burden anyone with this!

"It'll be okay, Ichigo, I'll help you." Ichigo just looked at Yuzu. "Please don't tell anyone, okay?" Yuzu knew that nothing good would come from making her brother tell. She did know one thing though. Lieutenant Renji Abarai of Squad Six in the Soul Society would never hurt her brother again.

**BLEACHBLEACHBLEACH**

There's chapter 2! I hope you enjoyed it! I have a few ideas for pairings, but I'm not sure what one to pick.

Ukitake/Ichigo

Ulquiorra/Ichigo

Rangiku/Ichigo

Tousen/Ichigo

Keigo/Ichigo

I know most of them are crack pairing, but I want to do something different with this story.

_**PLEASE REVIEW!**_


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